Shibumi

Tokyo, Part 4-(Prologue/b.1) SHIBUMI. Mid October, 1986

(Con’t from part 3 in posts) The first month was rough, really rough. I had stopped taking any meds because when the pain came, it would rip right through them anyway. The good news was if I was very still I felt OK, but I was beginning to feel like I might lose my mind from boredom. However, I found that if I could get myself into a comfortable enough position, I could turn the pages of a book-that was progress. At first that would only last a couple minutes at a time, but by mid October I could read for 30 minutes to an hour at a pop, rest for a few more hours and then do it again.

One day my friend Scott (White), the older brother of my friend Darren, came by and gave me a book he thought I might like. Scott was already an accomplished martial artist and someone I looked up to. I thought if it was good enough for Scott, it’d be good enough for me. The title of the book was SHIBUMI by the author Trevanian. I started it right away, and with minutes I was hooked. Part spy novel, part international intrigue, part critique of human behavior, it simply felt “smarter” than anything similar I’d read before. I was captured by the way the protagonist, Nicolas Hel used his martial arts and esoteric training to embody the tagline of the book, which read:
“THE CODE OF THE PERFECT ASSASSIN, THE SECRET OF THE PERFECT LOVER”

At 17 years of age all I remember thinking was, “sign me up!”
I tore through the rest of book the best I could. After I finished, I swore to myself that if I got the opportunity, I would train in the martial arts (The perfect lover part was more of a stretch goal). But then I quickly remembered I’d probably have to be able to get out of bed first before becoming either one of those.

In the coming days I would start to feel something, hope? Maybe. Purpose, hell yes. I begin to do my own routine of what I guess I would call “bed yoga.” Moving super light, super slow, right before the “white flash” would hit. Each day I was able to do just a little more though. It was working-progress is a powerful motivator. Notes in Comments. Read them.39w

NOTES: Basically, I went through a roughly 60 day forced meditation-I had to be still and breath lightly. But this meditation came with pretty severe and immediate consequences for noncompliance. In retrospect I do think there were some lasting impressions:

1. When you are young, you have a feeling that you have all the time in the world. In my case I was relieved of that feeling early. I’ve never taken time for granted.

2. What I lacked a natural talent, I could usually make up for with “feeling.”. Some people could just see a move or technique demonstrated, and then do it. (“Naturals”- I do not like them). When I saw something demonstrated, even though I might not be able to do it, I had a pretty good idea of what it would “feel” like to do it. This part of my body moving over or around that part of my body. In a way I learn(ed) from the inside out. Make sense?

3. I think I developed a mild case of at least mental claustrophobia. I have a strong aversion to restriction of thought, process, or action. Once the reigns were loosened, and I was off and running, I didn’t look back very much other than a glance or two over my shoulder. Maybe until now.